If you know of a better hole…

By Ricky Savage, The Voice of Irresponsibility

Places are famous for different things; Iceland is the home to more mad volcanos than anywhere else,  Paris comes first in the rudest cities competition year after year and California has more blue sky thinking than anywhere normal. But what about us?

Once East Finchley was voted the happiest place in London by Time Out, that was at least something to be proud of when your Northern line train was cancelled again. Then nothing. We slipped down the charts and got replaced by Richmond. But, hey, we’re back!

Yes, folks, in the weird world of a dog-end government Barnet has something to be proud of once again. Why? Because according to a report by Smart Survey we are Britain’s pothole capital. We can confidently say that the High Road is more holes than road and what makes cycling dangerous is not the cars but the possibility of falling into a void and having to climb out.

Nowhere in the country has as many unfilled potholes as Barnet. There are over 4,500 of them; that’s one for every 100 residents when most councils keep the figures down to one per 1,000. And our council is slowest at filling them in, sorting out less than a third when places like Lewisham are close to 100%.

This is not all bad news, well not if you own a two-ton SUV car, because you now have an excuse for doing your bit to increase global warming. No more jokes about not needing something designed for a war zone to go to Tesco, because in Barnet you do. How else are you going to get there when the road looks like it’s been converted from a tank trap?

But what the hell. In the weird world of Iceland’s latest exploding volcano and an alphabet soup of winter storms heading towards us, it’s nice to have something to celebrate, even if it’s only our potholes.